gemini season
Well well here we are May 21-June 20th ‘tis Gemini season. There are many things going on up there. By ‘up there’ I mean in outer space and beyond but ill save you the details. If you’d like to dig deeper I’d recommend professionals in the field of astrology like Renee Sills at embodiedastrology.com or Jennifer Freed (link.snipfeed.co/jenniferfreed). Both have detailed insights about retrogrades, squares, full moons, and all that jazz. I also appreciate Alice Sparkly Kat’s (alicesparklykat.com) work and thought about nostalgia. They expressed that ‘time’ has two sides. Time can pass by too quickly and then not at all. Just because I can climb to the top of a mountain doesn’t mean the hike is over. Going down the mountain could be easier or harder depending on the circumstances. What if coming down the mountain I trip rolling an ankle? What if I were to snowboard down instead of walk? Would that make the trip up the mountain seem more time-consuming and strenuous? It is hard to know just by thinking! My point is in order to go up, I must come down. Both could suck or be great or one could be better than the other but it is not going to be linear (from what I’ve gathered).
I struggle with the opposing emotions from good to bad, the swinging of emotions, from joyfulness to sadness, from gratitude to depression, and from anxiety-ridden to peaceful bliss. I must admit the swing is less dramatic than it used to be. Because the less I fight and the more I practice with what is right in front of me (instead of worrying about the past or future) the more I progress. The more I show up for others and for myself the better I feel. But it is easy to go back into old patterns so I must be aware. I must be on guard like a cougar hunting his prey. Watching my thoughts ebb and flow like the tide of an ocean pool.
Astrology and breathwork help me become aware and awake. They give me a nudge and point me in the direction of wonder, mystery, and self-reflection.
The two-headed person or the twin is Gemini. Two faces, two bodies, two minds, and two hearts. There are two sides to everything, I am realizing. The yin and the yang. Black and white. A coin, night and day… you name it and it is probably dual-sided (a sword)! So how does one find the balance? How does one acknowledge the darker shadowy parts without getting judgemental or fearful? Gemini season is all about it! Gemini season also represents the young adult. The pre-teen turns from childish things to more adult things…
As I reflect on my own pre-teen years (10-12) I soften and realize how much that sweet girl, (soon to be a woman), needed a hug of confidence. I realize that person, that 10-year-old me, is still here. My story is her story but I can hear her now, louder than ever before and she is asking for some acknowledgment. She is asking for some nourishment, a reflection of what might need to be uncovered, unburied, or remembered.
Science says that our brains are smart enough to turn off when bad things happen to us. But our bodies are different. Our bodies remember (Maté & Maté, 2022).
Two people live in this one body. The heart and the mind. The heart remembers being hurt but the mind will not go there. This leads to confusing impulses and memories, and the nostalgia is disrupted.
The Greek meaning of nostalgia is (nostos) the return to, (algos) pain. (“Nostalgia - From Cowbells to the Meaning of Life,” 2008). Nostalgia was once thought to be a negative psychological condition by certain “doctors” in the 17th and 18th centuries. Watching soldiers and mercenaries of the Swiss army miss their families and homes was painful to see. However, this slowly changed and now nostalgia is considered a more positive human emotion.
Again, we see two sides of one word.
In my opinion, the word nostalgia can be whatever it wants. It doesn’t need history to define it. Nostalgia can find balance with emotion and give the word ‘time’ a moment to stop.
Pausing I can remember a happy moment in my life at age 10 and yet I can barely recall the sad ones. But then ask me again and mention my mom or a friend who has passed away. The painful recall could be the ‘nostalgia’ the old 17th-century doctors were most likely referring to. Nostalgia is neither good nor bad. According to Alice, It is a word to describe time standing still.
A story that could make me grin or weep depends on the time, place, and environment it was told. If I am aware of this “nostalgic phenomenon” and can notice where in my body the rest of the story is stored and I might be able to heal something very deep and hidden. I might be able to use the hidden pain as a superpower, and then help others!
So how does one find ‘the balance’? I find it with breathwork, recovery, nature, laughing, pausing, a long embrace, writing, traveling, cooking, cleaning, burning sage, finding crystals, staring at a fire, being brave, speaking my truth, being honest, actively listening, practicing integrity, mountain biking, hiking, snowboarding, petting my cat, making mistakes, asking for help, cuddling, acknowledging my darkness, yoga, caring for my old wounds, sitting in the stillness, loving the parts of me I was told to hate, being grateful for what I have, remembering the good times and bad times with a full heart and finally, opening my whole self to let the light shine in.
Two…better than one?
Let us have fun
Let us be free
From misery
Let us be happy
Hold on tight
I want to be right
I want to be good
Let me do it
Let me do it
No
Two people
One body
Two minds
Controlling
Yet
Loving
Stay Easy
Stay kind
-By Whitney Locke
Maté, G., & Maté, D. (2022). The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture. Random House.
Nostalgia - from cowbells to the meaning of life. (2008). BPS. https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/nostalgia-cowbells-meaning-life
